round like the moon, ancient as my ancestors

Nyingv Jae Saechao (b. 1992)
round like the moon, ancient as my ancestors, 2024
mixed media, clay and yarn on canvas

—

submerge me in softness
in deep celestial divinity
when I close my eyes
I sink into the expanse of my inner infinity
from emergent to ancient, every prism of possibility
reflecting the endless universe within me

Rice Water Reflections: a collection

Rice Water Reflections: a collection by Nyingv Jae Saechao
chapbook, 2024

Rice Water Reflections: a collection is a self-published chapbook containing a curated compilation of my most beloved poems and a select few visual art pieces that are foundational to my artist life and creative journey thus far. This body of work calls on memory, documenting diasporic yearning while grappling with the frictions of life and intergenerational legacies as fuqc jueiv hnaangx namx.

Copies can be ordered here.

Me 4 Me

Nyingv Jae Saechao (b. 1992)
Me 4 Me, 2023
Digital Illustration

—

*image is watermarked for copyright protection

Me 4 Me is a speculative piece that speaks to my connection to myself and my infinite spirit. Inspired by an article from The Atlantic on scientists finding ripples in space and time, I was moved to imagine my divine place among the rhythmic waves of the Universe. This scene portrays Jae from Jupiter, my higher self engaged in prayer and deep rest submerged among the stars-our collective, eldest ancestors. Me 4 Me was created as a transcendent reminder of the expanses that I and everyone/everything universally originates from and my agency and responsibility to my energy in the vastness of it all.

Matriarchal Messages

Nyingv Jae Saechao (b. 1992)
Matriarchal Messages, 2023
Multimedia Collage

—

*image is watermarked for copyright protection

Matriarchal Messages exists as a loving reminder from my Mien women + femme ancestors (both future and current) that we are eternally known and loved by them. The phrases “Yie Hiuv Meih. Yie Hnamv Meih.” directly translate to “I know you, I love you”. When I was assembling this piece, I found myself reflecting on my connection with my ancestry, particularly the women, femmes, and non-binary people throughout my lineage. Under generations of cultural patriarchy, those of us assigned female at birth were and often still are, by default, conditioned to act according to rigid gender roles enforced upon us. Whether or not we choose to abide by these expectations is often directly tied to our safety, spiritual protection, community connection, and the overall outcome of our lives. In imagining what it would look like to reclaim our power and agency i was called toward the message that regardless of the decisions we’ve been forced to make out of survival, our beloved ancestors know who we are and love us through all of it.

This artwork, Matriarchal Messages was born out of my searching, with the main image of two Mien femmes rising from the mountains first starting off as a vintage picture I found in my grandparents’ worn box of photos mostly taken by my Ong Dae (grandfather) who has been an avid self-taught photographer + videographer throughout much of life upon arriving in the U.S.

Across the collage I also incorporate images I personally captured throughout my first trip back to my ancestral homelands of Laos. From the blue-green mountains spilling out the rich, clay-red Mekong, to the clouds and steps leading up to the bright blood moon. I am blessed to say I was able to witness these first-hand.

Collage remains one of my favorite art methods. From childhood, I fell in love with the exhilarating, emergent process. I loved the searching—through magazines, books, image archives until I found what felt like treasure. I reveled in the physical feeling of interacting with the varying weight + tangible textures of paper between my fingertips, the challenge of piecing together all of these elements and the joy of repurposing + reinterpreting. This piece offered me the opportunity to do all of these things while giving me a space to tune into my creative intuition and femme ancestral frequencies.

Kuv Dingc Aqv

Nyingv Jae Saechao (b. 1992)
Kuv Dingc Aqv, 2022
Digital Painting

—

*image is watermarked for copyright protection

Kuv Dingc Aqv was created as an accompanying visual to my poem “Kuv Dingc Aqv: An Ode to Our Full Bellies”. The digital painting and poem are created to be in conversation with one another. Throughout the poem, I combine a mixture of Mien, Khmu and English words, in honor of my families’ diasporic histories and my own. The poem came first, inspired by something my siblings and I grew up being told by my elders during dinner. In Mien they would often say, “If you were with us in the war and you ate that slow, you would have never survived.”

While initially, their messaging felt like a way to rush my mealtimes, I understood as I got older that more than anything, this was a glimpse into their lived realities as survivors of unspeakable violence throughout the United States’ Secret War in Laos. In the aftermath of the war, so many people within the communities that I come from have continued to live with irreparable loss, dysregulation, turmoil and fear. Yet despite these things, we still gather and find joy, connection and healing through food—a previously precious and scarce resource. My intention was to capture the interconnectedness of all of these experiences throughout the poem, while also honoring all of the forced sacrifices made so we could be here, eating well.

The digital painting is a depiction of one of my Mien family’s most favorite meals growing up, made by my Guv Maa, consisting of stewed pig-feet with sour bamboo shipped directly to us by our relatives in Laos, and a side of spicy pickled mustard greens. Our meals were always accompanied by our personal bowls of rice– often with a few Thai chilis for biting, served on her kitchen counter. Despite culture loss, food has always been a site of connection and healing for us. This poem and digital painting duo aims to capture the importance of food, and honor the stories of my elders while celebrating our community’s thriving and freedom from no longer having to suffer in the ways they were forced to. 

Find the accompanying poem below.

Kuv Dingc Aqv: An Ode to Our Full Bellies

This chew is for you.
The slow savoring of each spoonful
bursting sweet, salty, scrumptious

s l o w

Like stirring dorng over the stove
Until it drips thick and sticky
The kind that calls for nothing less than loud slurps and satisfied smacking and
double dipping endless balls of maa rruung

Counting every bite as a blessing
An honor
And homage for all the years
Your caged tongues and
clenched jaws sat
parched in saturated silence
We now feast and know fullness

For every day your stomachs went empty
swallowing sorrow for supper
when salt was gold and meat was treasure
and you knew better than to be led
by your aching hunger
too far deep into the jungle or
the lush abandoned rice field
straight into the deadly traps of janx salaa

Let us celebrate your miraculous survival with
overflowing scoops of
sweet lai-maeng torng
paired with
sizzling salty, pungent orv laap
Sucking soft skin off of sour dungz deih
Being careful not to let it slip
from our sloppy fingers

With full bellies and steady hearts
Warm ovens and freezers stocked to the brim
may we never forget
to give thanks
say grace
and save a seat at the table
for your forced sacrifices
exclaiming
Kuv dingc aqv
Laengz zingh
Lum duc

Faam Dorc's Masterpiece

Nyingv Jae Saechao (b. 1992)
Faam Dorc’s Masterpiece, 2023
Digital Painting/Illustration

—

*image is watermarked for copyright protection

I was moved to create “Faam Dorc’s Masterpiece” as an homage to a classic Iu Mien creation story I was intially introduced to through Piecing Earth & Sky Together — a childrens’ book gifted to me by my Guv (grandmother). The story credits Faam Dorc (elder sister) as responsible for spending many precious, careful hours creating all of earth through embroidery. In an effort to beat her to the finish line, her brother, Faam Gorx (elder brother) hurried through his assignment to embroider the sky and even found time for a nap while Faam Dorc continued diligently. When it came time to reveal their work, Faam Gorx’s sky was a mere cloth compared to Faam Dorc’s abundant, expansive, lively, and ever-unraveling earth… the fit was off to say the least. In the end, Faam Dorc was faced with the responsibility of having to make up for her brother’s overhasty mistakes by completing his work and lovingly stitching earth and sky together.

As with most of my work, this piece centers the magic, true mastery and real intention + labor it takes to for Iu Mien femmes, non-binary + genderqueer folks, and women to live and give life, to our (chosen and biological) families, communities, and most importantly ourselves.

As I’ve been experimenting with new art styles, I chose to convey this piece more playfully with bright colors and bold, imperfect brush strokes. I purposely chose to include creatures only found in the jungles of Laos — the ancestral homelands of myself and my lineage.