Kuv Dingc Aqv

J. Saechao (b. 1992)
Kuv Dingc Aqv, 2022
Digital Painting

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*image is watermarked for copyright protection

Kuv Dingc Aqv was created as an accompanying visual to my poem “Kuv Dingc Aqv: An Ode to Our Full Bellies”. The digital painting and poem are created to be in conversation with one another. Throughout the poem, I combine a mixture of Mien, Khmu and English words, in honor of my families’ diasporic histories and my own. The poem came first, inspired by something my siblings and I grew up being told by my elders during dinner. In Mien they would often say, “If you were with us in the war and you ate that slow, you would have never survived.”

While initially, their messaging felt like a way to rush my mealtimes, I understood as I got older that more than anything, this was a glimpse into their lived realities as survivors of unspeakable violence throughout the United States’ Secret War in Laos. In the aftermath of the war, so many people within the communities that I come from have continued to live with irreparable loss, dysregulation, turmoil and fear. Yet despite these things, we still gather and find joy, connection and healing through food—a previously precious and scarce resource. My intention was to capture the interconnectedness of all of these experiences throughout the poem, while also honoring all of the forced sacrifices made so we could be here, eating well.

The digital painting is a depiction of one of my Mien family’s most favorite meals growing up, made by my Guv Maa, consisting of stewed pig-feet with sour bamboo shipped directly to us by our relatives in Laos, and a side of spicy pickled mustard greens. Our meals were always accompanied by our personal bowls of rice– often with a few Thai chilis for biting, served on her kitchen counter. Despite culture loss, food has always been a site of connection and healing for us. This poem and digital painting duo aims to capture the importance of food, and honor the stories of my elders while celebrating our community’s thriving and freedom from no longer having to suffer in the ways they were forced to. 

Find the accompanying poem below.

Kuv Dingc Aqv: An Ode to Our Full Bellies

This chew is for you.
The slow savoring of each spoonful
bursting sweet, salty, scrumptious

s l o w

Like stirring dorng over the stove
Until it drips thick and sticky
The kind that calls for nothing less than loud slurps and satisfied smacking and
double dipping endless balls of maa rruung

Counting every bite as a blessing
An honor
And homage for all the years
Your caged tongues and
clenched jaws sat
parched in saturated silence
We now feast and know fullness

For every day your stomachs went empty
swallowing sorrow for supper
when salt was gold and meat was treasure
and you knew better than to be led
by your aching hunger
too far deep into the jungle or
the lush abandoned rice field
straight into the deadly traps of janx salaa

Let us celebrate your miraculous survival with
overflowing scoops of
sweet lai-maeng torng
paired with
sizzling salty, pungent orv laap
Sucking soft skin off of sour dungz deih
Being careful not to let it slip
from our sloppy fingers

With full bellies and steady hearts
Warm ovens and freezers stocked to the brim
may we never forget
to give thanks
say grace
and save a seat at the table
for your forced sacrifices
exclaiming
Kuv dingc aqv
Laengz zingh
Lum duc